28.sep.04

moto!!!!

this is me!!

My favorite Mammoth resident taught me how to ride a bike today. Not a mountain bike- a Motocross bike! All i can say is, what an adrenaline rush! I learned how to shift and brake in the street in front of the house (in the quiet neighborhood just below Canyon Lodge), and then got to try my skills on the dirt! I had a LOT of fun. I think i found my new hobby.

We rode up the road to Laurel Lake, and i decided to stop when my arms got tired. It's not easy to ride a moto- they can really get away from you when you hit the throttle!!

... I was in the lead, and i hit a turn pretty fast, and wound up in the next turn a little too fast. I lost the bike and just slid it like i was going for home. It didn't hurt, but i think i wound up flooding the engine, and we couldn't get it started again. We were going to try to tow it out, so i rode on the back of Matt's bike back to the truck. it was fun to ride on the back and get a feel for the cornering. there are no foot pegs on Matt's super charged race bike.. so i had to hold my feet out of the way during the ride... oh- what a blast!

Every time i got off the bike, or stopped, my hands were shaking uncontrollably. It's the same way i get after say, a Super D run (even though i'v e only done it once). This is such an exhilirating sport- and a great way to end my mountain bike racing season.

so that was today...

namaste

tonya

27.sep.04

It's all over now!

Mammoth Nationals were a busy weekend for me- and on top of that, fighting off a nasty cold which progressively worsens with each race and ride. Today being my worst day yet. But before i get into the whole weekend, i just have to say- Troy is the greatest guy in the world. I just don't know anyone who works as hard or is as loyal as he is- and i don't know anyonw who can operate on the small amount of sleep he continues to thrive on... so thank you, Troy!

This weekend was my best weekend ever on a bike. Not because of my cross country or short track races (because actually, those 2 races went very poorly for me!) But because of my Super D- in which i finished 4th, and thus got to stand on the podium, for the first time as a Pro! Super D is a hybrid downhill/cross country race.

The Mammoth Super D start line was at the top of Mammoth Mountain- about a 15 minute ride on the Gondola from the Main Lodge. On the ride up, I read a few more pages of my latest read, Lamb, by Christopher Moore. I also glanced, from time to time, at the awesome scenery in Nevada and the Eastern Sierra. From the Gondola you can see Boundary Peak in Nevada- the highest point in Nevada. You can also see Crowley and Mono Lakes, the Minarets and more. If you ever get to Mammoth, don't miss out on the Gondola ride you will be amazed! The course winds down the mountain, and finishes out on the Kamikaze course. The Kamikaze is all dirt road... and steep- so it is pretty darn scary! I wish i did have a computer just to see how fast i was going, because i am sure it was as fast as i have ever gone on a mountian bike! It was so great to stand on the podium at Nationals. You could get used to that!

I've been staying with an old friend of Troy and mine. Since I've been sick the whole time, we've just been laying around reading, talking and watching tv. We also went to the stables to feed the horses a little Chai- which they really love! It was the coolest thing to see, but even cooler was the 4 day old baby horse, Pistol. We couldn't get close enough to pet him, but we watched him for about 10 or 15 minutes... if you're having a bad day, go to the barn and talk to the horses, it will make your day! there's just something about their smell, something about how they interact with each other and with humans, it is just amazing.

The weather in Mammoth has turned beautiful since about Thursday- and it remains- clear blue sky- not a sinlge cloud!

more later

namaste

tonya

17.sep.04

Mammoth Bound!

I am on my way to Mammoth! It's been a couple of years... I am driving alone, and it will probably be about 18 hours- so 2 days. Lit for the trip will be Hardy's Tess, which i have read countless times- but i enjoy the writing immensely, if not the story (it's a harrowing tale of a young lady with the most horrible fate). Also Keourac, and while On the Road is an obvious choice, Dharma Bums is appropriate since the story takes part in Cali- and specifically parts in the Eastern Sierra.

Why so many books? Three weeks on the road. One week to and in Mammoth, one week in SoCal, and one week in Vegas for Interbike. This is going to be the most epic of the trips of the year, and probably the best- simply because all the pressure for racing will be gone after next weekend- the National Championship race is finally over. I love racing- it's my thing- but the amount of major races i did this year has taken its toll on me- and i long to just ride and relax.

So from here- 1100 more miles, with another 1500 on or so on the way back- and my season will be officially over.

I am SO looking forward to the long downhills at Mammoth- and just riding the Gondie (Gondola) and getting runs in, and just climbing climbing. It's going to be a real treat- just to get out on all of those trails I haven't ridden in a couple of years... ricochet, uptown/downtown, the x-zones... wow- it's going to be fun!

I am really looking forward to getting there- so I need to finish packing up and get to bed! so good night and you'll be hearing from me in a couple of days...

namaste

tonya

14.sep.04

it's nearly 5:30 am and I naturally can't sleep- so it's time to get some work done!

clinic!

what can i say? the latest clinic was SO successful. i hardly use actual numbers to rate the success of our clinics. You could have 100 women come to a clinic. But while making a ton of money, the clinic could be a complete flop. People getting seriously injured, no one really getting the one on one attention they need. and so on.

Our Cincy clinic was successful. 7 women showed up to get dirty with us, and get dirty we did!For me, personally, I become so inspired by the newbies and aspiring Pros- how they come to us timid and full of questions and leave all smiles with many many tricks up their sleeves. It's so easy to become complacent as a Pro. You race with all the top riders in the country and the world, and you only think of them and of you. It's all about the finish line. But when you roll your arm warmers up and get dirty with the up and coming riders and pros- you are totally revived. You realize why you are out there racing and working so hard. Because mountain biking changes lives.

This year, the truck was not broken into on the long drive from Colorado to Ohio- which I have to admit, was probably the single most successful thing about our weekend. Troy and I left Colorado Thursday evening after he got out of work around 7pm. We drove all the way through, trading driving and sleeping, until we arrived in Cincy Friday afternoon. We met Jess- Pink Chick- at Tower Park, where we rode and practised our skills. Troy set off to the shops to say hey to all our friends.

Tower Park trails are in very poor condition. It's too bad cause it's great terrain. My first lap on some of the sections was a little sketchy. You forget how to ride the twisty, rooty trails after enough time away. I was warned the trails would be slippery. Not the case. there were 2 or 3 mud puddles, but the trail was bone dry and hard and fast. It was great to get out on my old home trail, roots and all. The best thing for me about riding Tower Park nowadays is seeing how far I've come as a rider. I can ride from bottom to top without a problem- whereas before- it would kill me to go even part way up the hill. It was rare that I didn't stop on the way up!

That evening, we went to Bio Wheels to hang out and then headed out to Lebanon to stay with my bro and his fam. It was so good to see my brother- the firs time I had seen him since his return from Iraq. He is home for now, and we are hoping he doesn't have to go back. But since the war is raging on, troops are still needed.

The next morning was butt crack early. the alarm went off at 5:30am. That was too much. So we slept in and were running a little late to get to Kinko's but managed to round up breakfast and all. We met with all the new mtbchicks and got to riding. We started with all the requisite skills, and it was clear to see that we had some good talent among us.

Our advanced group was treated to riding the large set of stairs by the basketball courts. It was so much fun to point them in the right direction, then see them do it. On Sunday, when we revisited the stairs with yet another rider- the Army folks having a picnic were treated to some impressive chick riding. Our photographer, Justwright, was awesome, and will have some great pics of all the chicks- including some of the more fun off the bike exercises we had to do!! (you'll just have to wait and see!)

Troy did his thing all day both days- teaching the new mtbchicks how to repair and maintain their bikes. You can rest assured if any of these women get caught on the trail with a broken bike- theirs or someone else's- they will get out of that jam!

Saturday night was Margaritas at Don Pablo's. While the food was ok, and the service less than mediocre, great fun was had with all the new chicks and some of our good friends who showed up to hang out. Then back to Lebanon for another short night.

Of course, running late in the morning, Jess was driving me to Kinko's to get some work done. Naturally, the Kinko's employee did not know how to hook up my laptop to the kinko's system- because I am using a Mac. I actually tried to walk him through it, but that was too painful. So now I would have to email my document. I emailed it twice without attaching it. Jess went to Starbucks to get our early morning coffee fix. Finally I attached the PDF to be printed and from there things went fairly smooth. It's been a while since I've visited a Kinko's- and while it is one of my favorite businesses- you must allow extra time to get the work done. Nothing is ever easy!

So another morning of a good breakfast and riding with out new chicks. Everyone is riding wheelies and bunny hops and we do the body contact thing- which always causes fun to be had. Last year the exercise went a little awry with the aggressiveness of the girls- but it sure was fun to watch!

After the massive raffle and a few good byes- I just wanted to get out on the trail and ride. I found my rhythm again, and I was descending confidently- more so than i had all year. All the skills drills, and all the repetition, here I was riding better than I had been all year. And i owe it all to the new chicks! Thank you!

namaste

tonya

8.sep.04

has it really been so long?

I am finally taking some time for myself this morning- which means writing in my online journal. It's so much harder to get up at 6 now, as the sun is decidedly allowing the masses of the northern latitudes to sleep in. I do love these mornings, though. From where I sit in my chair with my iBook on a small IKEA table, I have a full view of the front range- from the Flatirons of Boulder to Long's Peak. This morning, the sky is a very pale blue with the snow that fell on the high peaks this past weekend glistens pink and their halos of clouds that hover still. Glass glistens mirror like from the houses that grace the skirts of the mountains, and Spokes, she snores as she lays on the futon- her perch of choice after she has been kicked off the bed in the middle of the night. She's not much of a morning dog, so all the milling around of Troy leaving for work at an ungodly hour and me "making" my coffee simply casues her to raise her brow in disdain.

Since returning from Durango, I have ridden my bike 2 times- and it has been my mountain bike thank you. Last Friday was a lesson with Anna- whom I haven't seen all summer. I really missed riding with her, but the stormy summer and all of our travel combined kept us from meeting up for a ride.

Yesterday I had another easy ride. I've been feeling on the brink of illness and of exhaustion. So I have been forcing myself to take more days off. It's difficult. But I enjoy it the same. Yesterday's ride was slow and steady. Across the main road from us, there is a reservoir- Lagerman's Reservoir. In the summer, it is a sanctuary for water fowl. Yesterday, as I circled the lake, I watched large Pelicans milling around in the water. The Pelicans are enormous, and when they are close to the bank, you can just see how really huge they are. It amazes me that here in Longmont at this little reservoir in the middle of the prairie, that we have Pelicans. We also have Snow Egrets- while not as large as the Pelicans- are beautiful and mysterious the same. Then there are the Loons. I have never been close enough to tell what kind of Loon, but they float low in the water, almost as if they are eternally sinking. Of course, one of my favorites- the Osprey also makes Lagerman his home. An enormous nest rests atop a telephone pole on the far side of the reservoir. If you have never seen an Osprey nest- they are the coolest nests- always on top of a pole or dead tree, made with branches. And when winter finally arrives, this reservoir- across from a horse farm (actually surrounded by horse farms, but the one across the dirt road has a cotton wood lined lane) is home to the Bald Eagles. I have seen as many as 10 perching in the cotton woods across the road and you can see them fishing in the lake as well. This is just right across the street. Too bad so many houses are now being built. I am sure the Eagles and the rest of the birds will leave some day soon as the people encroach on this protected area.

So my easy ride was great. Now I just have to try to survive as an athlete living with a person who doesn't care about what he eats or being in shape. Sometimes this is the hardest part of the job of being a Pro cyclist. I just want to eat- and it's hard not to when you live with a non-athelte. Yes, this past week off has been trying, but I am beginning to feel ready to go back to the life just for a couple of more weeks. The National Championships are in 2 weeks in Mammoth. It's so crazy to think about it. This time, every single year, the season is over. but the most important race of the year is coming up. I am not sure how I am going to feel, after coming to the brink of exhaustion so many times this year. But I will go and race, and I will do my best. I am just having a hard time convincing myself that, yes, there is one more race, and yes, it is the most important race of the year. I need to get my self on track, and soon! But I find myself in the throes of sponsorship season. It's tough- because I have so much work to do- phone calls, proposals, resumes to review, a whole year to plan according to what all the sponsors may want to see. That is enough to make a person crazy- and why it is so hard for me at this time of the year to be remotely thinking about an important race. But think about it I must, and hey- I get to ride my MOUNTAIN BIKE again today! I love my mountain bike!

namaste

tonya

30.aug.04

home again- and durango finals antics

Durango was on great trip! How can it not be? There is just something so magical about Durango- the beauty of the mountains the 360 views in town and at the Durango Mountain Resort.

The drive to Durango from Longmont took for-ever. Pink Chick (Jessica Nelson) and I did the haul, leaving shortly after 7am on Thursday. We were to be in Durango- at the resort- by 3pm in order to make the scheduled clinic. After sitting on Wolf Creek Pass for almost an hour and a half, we arrived in Pagosa Springs at 3. Still with an hour to go to get to Durango Mountain Resort. Troy had our cell phone with him, and he was still at work. Pink Chick's Nextel phone had no service, so we had to stop for a pay phone and a potty at a local gas station. We waited in line at the water closet, and finally, after banging on the door and yelling, we realize no one is in the ladies room, and the door is locked. Alas, the men's room. It could have been a lot grosser, so it wasn't a bad move, except the guys waiting in line couldn't figure out why we chose the men's over the ladies room. And we were so tired of being on the road, we didn't bother to explain. We just walked past the line and stared straight ahead, ignoring the imploring looks. And naturally, the pay phone didn't work, so after about a 20 minute stop, we were heading to the next gas station.

At the next gas station, I finally got through to Smiley Chick (Mary Carlson). She was not at DMR, but in Durango. She had been at the resort already. She and Josh were just hanging out in town. The biggest news of the day, rather than the locked women's restroom was that Mary's bike had not arrived, so she was unable to ride the course, as the demo bikes were not yet set up at the Resort. And her race was the next day, Friday. Not only was this a complete unbelievability, it meant i needed to make yet another call. (Mary's bike situation is compounded byt he fact that she was UNable to make it to the NOVA Desert Classic in March because her flight was cancelled- and this is all America West).

So my next call went in to the folks at Team Big Bear and Blue Wolf. They took care of communicating to the race director that we would not be there in time. This meant we were now obligated to help with the Kids Race on Sunday... !!

As we pulled in to town, we decided we were not going to DMR- another 30 minutes of driving. We were had after the 9 hour drive we had just finished. I can drive for a long time, but when i get tired of it, I am not going to get back into the driver's seat. Besides, I had a radio interview that Thursday night with the Bike Show in Phoenix, and I wanted to be in the hotel for the interview. Pink Chick and Smiley Chick went on a ride- Smiley on my bike, with my helmet... and that was the plan for Friday, that she would race my bike if hers did not show up.

After their ride, the girls and Josh went to the store. I was waiting for my interview. So after they returned, my interview started- a 12 minute spot on live radio. It was great. I can interview pretty well- just yakking away- blah-bla-blah blah blah. The guys were fun to talk to, and as I suspected, the issue of guys verses girls came up quite a bit. "Why women only?" "Do you ever give clinics to guys?", etc.... "What happens when you pass a guy on the trail?" I felt i surfed those big waves pretty well- I guess I'll have a better idea once I hear the tape. Then they pulled a fast one on me- Trivia. Yuck. I can do trivia in a no stress situation- but with as many head injuries as i have suffered- well- being put on the spot makes my brain quit working. So one of the trivia questions was name a band member of Dave Matthews other than Dave. "uhhhh.... i don't know!" Geez. ok- can i answer now that i have no pressure? What, I don't get 5 days to answer? (Boyd Tinsley would have been my answer). This is why I don't try out for Jeopardy. The moment I have to answer a question instantly- I forget the answer. I am much better at Jeopardy at home.

So Day 1 is over. And it was one of the more epic days of the whole trip. And still no bike for Mary.

Friday morning. Still no bike for Mary. So she is getting set to ride my bike. I drive her up to DMR, and she is trying to focus on her missing bike, while I have to play "how many times can you successfully change the subject?". A nervous racer will always go back to what's bothering them, and in Mary's case it's her missing bike. "Isn't it a beautiful day?" and "It is so amazing here." and so on. At the venue, I help locate a pair of pedals, and try to encourage her to warm up. She really wants to ride her own bike, and I don't blame her, but her bike is not here. So I try to install the pedals and Troy reminds me that my right pedal spindle is broken and can't be removed. Oh yeah, I forgot. So we can't put her pedlas on my bike after all. Finally, about 30 minutes before the race, Josh shows up with the bike. Mary gets a chance to warm up for about 15 minutes. And race on the course she has never seen before.

Now I am free to ride the course. I get suited up and I can't find my gloves. This is not an unusual occurence for me, just an aggravating one. So I dump out my bag about 4 times, I go through every bin and every bag I see. I am so flustered, and beginning to throw a fit- Mainly because If I don't get out on the course before the Expert Men come back around, I am going to have to wait til evening to ride this course. I need to stay ahead of them as much as possible- and out of the way. So I waste about 15 minutes before I finally grab another new pair of gloves- that aren't mine to take, but I can't ride this course without gloves and get blisters on my hands for tomorrow's cross country.

I head out on the course and am suffering up the climb. I hear trafiic, but it turns out to be the highway below- and I am still good. I actually make it over the top of the course and begin descending before the Expert Men come through. So I am stuck at over 9,000 feet in between the climb and the descent, where I sit for a good 30 minutes watching all my Expert friends race, and cheer them on.The scenery is awesome. I am hanging out breathing the clean air, soaking inthe views. This is my space, my alone time. It's great fun to watch the guys, but I am getting cold, and want to get down.

After the bulk of the guys ride past on the descent, I jump in between riders- riders that are very far and few between. I am SO anti-Pro-riding-the-course-during-amateur-race that I am feeling really guilty, but because I was loaning my bike out to my teammate and couldn't have ridden any other time, I let that slide. I am flying down the mountain, just loving the ride... Pre-ride. Check. Now time to go see how the girls fared, and get back to d-town. And Troy tells me that Jessica forgot her gloves and took mine for the race, and THAT is why I couldn't find them. Phew.

I arrive at the hotel- all the girls and Garth and Josh and hanging out. So it's eat and they head up for podium. I stay at the hotel and relax, eat and rest up. Waiting for Steve- the world's best healer- to come and work on my aches and pains and problems. After this I am off to sleep.

Cross country day. Saturday. I arrive at the venue after jamming to Beastie Boys the whole way up. I get a good warm up in, and I amon the start line. We have DEEP gravel to start in, which binds me up and I am near the back of the pack from the get go. It takes me about 30 minutes to get warmed up, but after that, I am off. I pass around 15 women before the descent, and thatis my spot for the rest of the "race". It never feels like a race if you never pass or get passed for an entire lap. It's just biding your time. Of course, I had to stave off Jennifer Gersbach, who was directly behind me, and descending really well. On the last lap and on the final descent, I had to ride faster than the first lap. This meant- be smooth. Ha. I had to find that zone and just let go. I have been really struggling with my descending after all my falls, but I had to come to terms with it right now. It was either that, or lose a spot. I rode oh so well and when we hit the last climb, I was far enough ahead that my last surge would get me down the water bars with enough time to be cautious. I made it in just in front of Jennifer, who had a stellar race, finishing in 18th.

Saturday night- PIZZA! and ice bath. What an end to a long day in the saddle! You figure by the time you warm up, race and cool down, you've been on the bike over 3 hours. So it's always good to get back to the hotel and relax real style!

Sunday morning, everyone had to get up at butt crack of dawn, but i stayed in bed. Garth had a marathon to race, and the girls had short track. I made cookies and cinnamon rolls for Larry Longo- the NORBA announcer. When I arrived at DMR, Larry ate all but one of the rolls, and was mad at me!??!! He didn't want to share. Not my fault. He did, however, share the cookies I baked, thank god.

So we did the kids race, which was a blast. We got to race with the kids, and I got beat by a 12 year old kid- he got me in a sprint to the finish- by just a tiny tiny bit, though! After that, it was time for short track.

To be honest, I was exhausted on the start line at the short track. I had a mediocre start, and first 2 laps. Then I felt great and just started working my way around- riding back and forth with Judy Freeman and a couple of others. The course wound up being not as bad as everyone thought. I t was fun after all. but I finished farther back than i should have. Just my problem with being in the game. Some days you are just so tired....

After the race, we packed up immediately and went to Steamworks for lunch/dinner. Troy, Jess N, Garth, Josh, Mary and I. We had the worst service ever. Our server was ridiculous. She told Troy that she couldn't ask for no veggies on the plate cause "I'd have to type that in on the order". OK- well since when was that not your job, lady??? She served the burgers the guys ordered well done. Troy asked her why they were well done, and she answered, "the grill cooks them how they want to. they don't pay attention to what we say. Do you want me to get you another one?" Which made no sense to us: if they are going to cook it any way they want, what good would it do to have them overcook another one????

After that, it was out of town. The long haul home was pretty interesting for Jess and I. We stopped for the token bag of Smartfood- which was not available where we stopped. We were told there was a suicide in the bathroom so it was closed. We didn't know if they were serious or not. We were too tired to bother, so we bought some off brand popcorn and left. So it was just Jess, Spokes and I for the trip. And I was so sick of being in the car I wanted to die. We finally arrived home pretty late and an hour later, Troy arrived. And that is the end of my story.

namaste
tonya

23.aug.04

bumm-er!

I was almost sobbing today I was SO upset. I don't get out on the local trails much in the summer- with all the road training and traveling to races. So today was special. i was going to ride my favorite trail (locally anyhow) Hall Ranch. This is an extremely technical trail with about a one mile "rock band" that provides some of the hardest singeltrack climbing in the country. I mark among my accomplishments in life of having made it up this trail 1 time with no dabs. The rock band has very littel trail, but is mostly picking your way up the rocks which are not placed for optimum speed on a mountain bike going uphill. This making it very technical. To me- this is what makes this trail so great- I am not going to make it up this hill every time with no dabs. Every ride is a challenge. I look forward to it. But today, tragedy struck as I hit the very first technical section. It lies on a small streambed and on the way out- it's a downhill- and bumpy with rocks everywhere. 100% rideable, but you know, not necessarily easy. As I fly down, i say to the oncoming mountain biker- "this looks different" he laughs and i continue on. Maybe I am SO much better of a rider than last time. NOT. I continue up, greeting oncoming riders and passing a few other climbers and hit one of the tough spots. through that, then it's on to the hard climb #1. You have to ride up a series of rough rocks, make a hairpin left and carefully pick your way up the uneven rocks- if you are lucky enough to get your front wheel in the right place after your turn. If not, you go back and try again. I make it up the rocks and make the turn and I scream out, "What?????!!!!!!". The rocks have been filled in with dirt, and there is a smooth path winding up through this section of rocks. I almost fall of my bike in utter disgust. I stand and I am just reeling. Everyone is just staring at me- the hikers and other riders. I am so flustered, i just keep going- and the story goes... most of the trail is now what i would called "paved dirt". One or two of the hard sections remain, but the trail is now 100% rideable. Just like all the other trails in Boulder County.

20.aug.04

revving up

What do you know? It's only a week away from the NORBA Naitonal Series Finals in Durango- here we goooo! Another summer has slipped away, and here we are again only a few days away from a long drive to the Finals.

This past week has been one of training, watching the Olympics- the 3-day Equestrian Event, gymnastics and of course swimming and a few other sports in between. It was rgeat to see US cyclists take a few medals in the Time Trial, as well- we ended up with a Gold (Tyler H, men's), Silver (Dede Barry- women's) and a Bronze (bobby Julich- men's). Imagine that! It was just awesome to see Tyler finally a win a title worthy of his name!

18.aug.04

more bus stop

i haven't been on a bus stop ride in a while. i nearly missed the ride, as i was working and visiting with Shaina- and just let the day slip away. At 4:00, I realized i had better get moving. I jumped into my lycra, filled 2 bottles and grabbed some PowerBars and ran to the garage. I aired up my tires and hit the road. I pulled into Boulder just as the group was leaving. I was able to hang on for the entire time on 36, that is, until i flatted. I don't know what happened, must have been some glass or something. In my rush to get to the ride, i failed to bring any tubes, pumps, basically anything to repair any kind of mechanical. So once the air was out of my tire, i just got off my bike and started walking. The group rode past and left me walking. Finally, a nice guy rode up and helped me out with a tube and a pump. SInce I have given so many tubes to the greater good, i was pleased to get one in return. As a cyclist, you learn that your tube is not yours, but belongs to every cyclist, and eventually you'll get paid back for all the tubes you hand out- hand over fist. This is one reason why cycling as a whole is good for the world.

After fixing my flat, a couple of others who had flats before me caught up to me, and we rode together back into Lyons to hook back up with the road. We rode out of town and then jumped back onto the ride. I made it almost all the way to the end of Hygeine this time, but had to work very hard to keep up with all the guys, and when we hit the hill at the end, i was completely toasted. It was a tough ride, and as always very humbling.

Saying good bye- college days

This has been a week of good-byes. The junior mtbchicks are all going away to college this week, so it's been a busy week. I briefly saw Mara, who is on her way to Whitman. It was amazing to sit across from her and think, "next time I see her she is going to be an adult." Mara is very mature, and has had many experiences, but nothing is as profound as college. And it's not something you tell the girls as they look forward to their next chapter, but something you know, and you almost can't wait to see them again, but also know that you'll never see them as they are right now.

Shaina came over and showed me all her Outward Bound pics and told me all about her experience. My conclusion is that everyone in the world should do an Outward Bound course. The world would be a better place. Look for her Outward Bound journal soon!

Shaina and i decided to scrounge up some change and go to the local pizza place to share a pizza- a final farewell. We went to Proto's and ordered a small cheese pizza. We waited- oh i think it may have been pretty close to 30 minutes. Bloos sugar levels were dangerously low. I couldn't keep my sentences going, and i think Shaina's stomach was eating itself. Once our pizza arrived, they told us they'd take care of the bill, so we thanked them, paid a tip and went to the coffee shop.

So here i am- Troy and Spokes are gone camping and off-roading with the Xterra club, and I am car-free. Which isn't always bad, it just means i can't go to Boulder at all- unless i want to be on my bike for a couple of hours, which is going to make it difficult to make the Singletrack Sistahs ride this week. I guess i have to do some house cleaning...

namaste

tonya

15.aug.04

time off

i am emerging from my day off. and when i say day off- i mean, i laid in bed all day, didn't check my email, only looked on line for Olympic road race results, and didn't talk about or even think about mountain biking. for someone so passionate about mountain biking, this may not seem like a good thing, but for me, at this time, it was great- a respite from the rigorous National Mountain Bike Series! I am pleased that the final 2-week stint of racing is over, after 4 2-week stints (March: Texas, Phoenix; May: Sonoma, Big Bear; June: West Virgnia, Vermont; July: Idaho, Aspen.) While the travel is usually quite enjoyable and exciting- getting a break from it is necessary for sanity.

Yesterday, I made it nearly half way through Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach (thanks to Troy's 'rents for buying this book for me!). If you haven't picked it up yet-I recommend picking it up to get an idea of what will happen to your remains when you die. It's humorous in it's own way, but very informative and eye opening.

So the focus now lies on 3 events: The Durango NORBA National, and series final in 2 weeks; The National Championships in Mammoth; and in between- our women's clinic in Fort Thomas, Kentucky. When this is over, it's time for sponsorships, Interbike and of course the season finale: 24 Hours of Moab. I am looking forwad to Moab, but still have not yet decided as to whether I will be racing Solo or on a team. It's a tough call, but the answer will come down to fitness and preparation.

So- Aspen.

I didn't feel good in Aspen. Bottom Line. After spending two 9 hour days in the car, driving, from Sandpoint, Idaho- starting on the Monday before Aspen and arriving Tuesday evening- well let's just say I was off to a bad start. The strain of all the traveling was catching up to me, and despite rest days, easy spins, and trying desperately to unwind- I was an exhasted individual.

I rode the course once, and tried to rest for the remainder of the week, but the day before the race, I was not feeling good- at all. I was a little worried that all the travel was going to affect my race. From the gun, I was feeling pretty tired- and tried hard to maintain my place, but fell way back- and finished my first lap in 24th, and consequently finished the race in 24th. My riding was just poor. My worst race of the year so far, a very disappointing round- pretty much sealing me out of the top 10 for the series. I am looking strong for a top 15 finish, which, in reality is much better than my 26th in 2003, and quite satisfactory. Of course, we'll have to see how it goes in Durango- as anything can happen in mountain biking!

My Aspen Short track race was fine- nothing special, but at least not wholly embarassing. I was in the top 10 for a few laps, which was a good boost, i just wasn't able to maintain, which was sad, but I had much fun in that race.

SO tomorrow it's back to pounding the pavement. Rest over. Races ahead of me. The next few weeks are going to be extremely critical in preparation.

namaste

tonya

10.aug.04

home again?

ok- home again, for a couple of weeks! it's hazy here in the front range this week. i suppose there must be fires.

so i have had a rough two weeks. 3000 miles of driving, and some mediocre racing. Aspen kicked my butt. I never had my second lap surge. In fact, i stayed in the same place- 24th- almost the entire race, which is just extremely rare in the Pro field. It was just one of those days. You know- not feeling it. It makes me appreciate all of my top 20 placings a lot more. The course was actually pretty nice, but I never got into my rhythm. Thanks to everyone who was cheering for me. It did help!

So i am home taking a couple of days off from all the driving and getting ready for Durango. and of course Mammoth. I am ready to get back to a familiar courses and places!

6.aug.04

Mountain Living for a day

ok- so it's for more than one day. and it is decent mountain living.

the morning rains have subsided and i can see patches of blue through the aspen leaves that drape my window. tears seem to fall from the eyes of the slender, white trunks of the aspens, where they have lost their arms. A lot of people have bailed out on coming to the race, so the condo only has Jess N, Mary, Hana and myself, and Troy whenever he is in town. He's been driving back and forth from here to work as much as he can stand. He's so awesome.

I've designated my room as the "NO TV" room. I'm pretty much over the boob toob at this point. I get to see enough of it at home. and when i'm on the road i prefer to not know what is going on in the world. it distracts my relaxation and preparation for the race. So i'm here, alone in my room getting some work done, which seems to be relaxing. There is nothing quite like sharing a mountain morning with the local aspen trees.

Evidence of sunshine is darkening the aspen trunks on the west side. These shadows are a welcome darkness this morning. When the sun shines in the mountains, it melts away all the bad stuff (and leaves a little sunburn on any non-sunscreened area). It's a special cleansing that can only happen in the clear thin air of the mountains. The dry air removes all the impurities. Such a refreshing change from humidity- which has been the norm in the Front Range this summer.

Yesterday i checked out the course. Not as bad as it was going to be as they have cut several miles off the course, and 1000 feet of climbing. This is going to make the race more like a National, with a slightly shorter course and a little less climbing. There's still 2000 feet of climbing per lap- but that is nothing compared to the 3000 originally slated. The UCI (International Cycling Union) likes the races to be more spectator friendly with shorter laps, and since our race starts at 2pm, there would be women still racing after 5. This is just too long for a spectator event, so the course has been significantly shortened, which is fine with me.

The climbing here is essentially straight up, and i presume i will be using my granny gear (smallest gear) for most of the race. There is a short downhill, but it's mostly straight down, so it's over pretty quick. And then we climb again. There's not much recovery so it's going to be like climbing up to Peak to Peak highway from my house. It's going to be about the same elevation gain.

The course is very easy technically. No wehre to need to get off the bike.No technical downhills. so it's going to be well suited for roadie types. The downhill is too short to be able to make up time for the technical riders. So basically, it's going to be a tough race for me, and my expectations are not too high. The lack of passing is also a major problem. Most of the race is on singeltrack, so no passing. It will be interesting to see how the race goes with such large Pro fields. There are going to be a lot of frustrated riders out there.

On a more positive note. The trails, despite being difficult to ride up due to the steepness, are beautiful, and there is nothing quite like smooth fast singeltrack through aspens. Very picturesque indeed. This is what it's allabout for us though- mountain living.

namaste

tonya

2.aug.04

Exhaustion.

The only word in the world i can think of to describe how i feel right now. A lot of miles under the belt in week 1 of the Rockies round of NORBA Nationals and now it's off for another 1000 miles to Aspen. At the end of this trip, it will be close to 3000 miles, and the Xterra will be closer to 160,000 miles. We still believe we have the most miles of any Xterra out there.

Last night we drove from Sandpoint, Idaho to Spokane, Washington. Just after four am, Sandi and I woke so she could begin her journey back to Gunnison. After leaving the airport in my early morning fog, I headed west on I-90 (the wrong way). It didn't take long to figure it all out as the sunrise was in the rear view mirror. It was amazing- the pink and blue and purple clouds laying on top of the mountain ridges like sultry ladies. The rewards for waking early are unmistakable, but always forgotten when the alarm rings you out of sleep.

Idaho was wonderful. hot, but wonderful. the races went ok for me. It was a huge relief to be back on the circuit and racing again. The 5 week respite was really more of a boring wait for the next round- although i definitely needed the rest at the time. It was so great to see everyone and line up with my arch rival Cannondale rider Kathy Sherwin. We're really not rivals in the true sense of the word- but i find it completely uncanny that we are always so close when we race. This weekend- kathy finished 30 seconds in front of me in the cross country and one second ahead of me in the short track. It happens a lot with us, and we trade spaces in the rankings at every race. Kathy is a great woman, and we're race friends... and laugh about how close we are all the time.

So today we leave for Aspen... Hana, Jessica Nelson, Mary Carlson and me... a long road trip into the vast West... to end up in a mountain paradise.

talk to you soon

namaste

tonya

24.jul.04

what season is it?

cold and rain! is it July? at least it's not snowing! well, not here in Longmont, anyhow- I'm not so sure about the moutnains! It's been raining for the past 3 days, making mountain biking impossible- so it's wet roads for me today... I was fully bundled up in arm andleg warmers, fleece gloves, wool helmet liner... i left off the shoe covers, but htey may have saved me from numb toes.

Today's ride was fairly uneventful- just some short climbs and a little spinning out mixedinwith some hard efforts. Race day is one week away- Nationals time! Don't forget to chekc the site out next week for all the excitement in Sandpoint, Idaho! This will be stop #6 on the NORBA schedule, followed in the next week by #7 Aspen (snowmass). I'm anxious to get back on the circuit and get on the race course!

It appears Lance has won his 6th Tour- completely unrivaled this year. I suppose the big news is that 2nd place is not Jan Ullrich, but his teammate Kloden. So if Lance doesn't come back in 2005, will the race offer us some excitement?

So i have to keep it short- lots of house cleaning to do today, as well as packing for the 2 week trip.

i hope you are having a superb weekend!

namaste

tonya

21.jul.04

a good day

a good day in my life is when lucidity manifests itself in my mind. today was one of those days.

i am alone for a couple of days- as Troy and Spokes are on a camping trip with the Xterra Owners Group. I need the alone time- since I have 2 weeks upcoming of travel with the team. so i welcome the days and nights alone. tonight i found myself reaching for my jacket and slipping into my sandals- ready to go on a walk. it's a habit. every night we go on a walk, with the primary function of walking the dog. i never walk for myself. but habit has the best of me andi find myself going ona walk. it's different with no Troy and no dog. and my mind picks up speed with my step, and the quiet void is filled with thoughts...

today i took another opportunity to ride with the kids in the cycling program at the Family Larning Center in Boulder (similar to Boys and Girls Club). I come out to ride and talk with the kids as much as I can, and distribute some schwag (which is always the highlight!). We went to the CU Research Park to the singletrack. Riding with the kids- i sometimes feel a little sad, and wish I could go back and relive my childhood and make different choices- obviously based on my 30 years of knowledge. But today I leanred a very valuable lesson. And i can't say it was the first time i really learned it, but maybe the first time I truly understood it.

i know- i would never be the person I am today, and would never be where i am today had i not made all of the choices i did. but it's not really about me. it's more about what is happening around me. i thought over some of the life changing events in my life- my first pony ride- not at the fair, but at a Pony Club, as a 7 year old. winning the fastest girl in kindegarten medal- which i still have. and so on. and i thought about some of the events that happened today at the Research park and realized that some lives have been permanently changed by my actions. and it's not the "show up and do your one hour of volunteering" that makes a difference, but it's the true caring and returning to the kids that really has an impact on them. and simply, like today, teaching thses wonderful individuals how to ride a mountain bike. maybe it helps if you understand that these kids do not even own bikes- they use the bikes that have been donated to the Center. They don't own bike shorts or gloves- some have just learned how to ride a bike- like just a couple of weeks ago!so to see them riding down steep hills, and up them, and jumping- it's just so cool. and it's not that i think that all these kids are going to become cyclists, but i think that they have learned a lot about themselves and about life through riding their bikes.

life is short, ride a bike.

namaste

tonya

19.jul.04

local race scene

I finally raced in a local mountain bike race- the first time in a long time! you see- local Colorado races are usually pretty tough. For example- the Aspen AMBC race is 3,000 ft of climbing per lap in 13 miles, and Pro Women do 2 laps. Rather than being a good training race, this 2.5hour + race will pretty much wear you out. It's more of a race to train for than to train with. So, in light of that fact, I usually skip out on the local races. With a full plate of 10 major races for this calendar year, I want to be as fresh as possible for the Nationals, as well as save my money for the big ones! Not to mention the Colorado contention who only does the MountainStates Cup races...

So this Saturday we went out to the Xterra race in order to do the Colorado State Champs (ACA) mtb race, held the day before the triathlon. In Keystone. This was my first visit to Keystone, and I must say, I will be back. I've ridden in Breck before, but I am not impressed after my visit to Keystone. The Keystone singletrack is marvelous!

Troy had a deal with the Xterra Owners Group - they did a car show, and also a trail run, which Troy had to miss because my race went past 12.

Anyhow- it was such a fun race. Fairly short, only 16 miles, with total climbing of 3000 feet- so not too much. More fun than i've had in a long time in a mountain bike race! I stepped to the line with Kerry Barnholt,Lisa Matlock, and Molly Hummel. We were it. When was the last time I did a Pro race this small???? The first part of the course was steep climbing. I didn't have time to warm up before the race, because i was busy standing at registration. By the time i finished registering, I rode up the highway and back just to get my legs spinning a bit. So from the gun, I was already in trouble, but i managed to push the pace up the initial climb. Even though there were only four of us, I was hoping we'd be racing pretty hard, cause I wanted a good workout. So when I could I rode past Kerry, which caused her to up her pace a bit, causing the race to intensify. The one thing I didn't want to happen was for everyone to ride together, and then sprint finish. I wanted this to be a race. I wanted everyone to be working as hard as in any race, so i pushed a few buttons, and we were on our way.

After the intitial climb, I pooped out pretty fast. without a warm-up, this will happen, Kerry rode away from me, and i could see Lisa closing in on me. She finally passed me. I was admittedly going pretty slow. So i tried to coast on the very short downhills, just to get my heart rate down and get a quick recovery so I could hammer again. It took about 5 or 10 minutes, but I finally recovered from the start and then took off. I caught and passed Lisa, and was on my way. When I hit the downhill, I figured Lisa would catch me, I was determined to ride cautiously- no crashes was my big goal of the day. Stay on the bike. I hadn't ridden the course at all, so I had no idea what was around each corner, so I rode slowly. This strategy paid of well. I didn't crash, and i had good confidence going in to the climb. Nearing the top of the second lap, the course officials tell me I am catching up. "Are they just saying that to encourage me, or do they mean it?". I decided to step it up and find out. No granny gear on lap 2. The second descent was a little shaky, as i wanted to pick it up a bit, but i quickly slowed my self and casually rode down. Now I was really cruising up the hill. Feeling great. Nearing the top, I saw Kerry in front of me. Oooh! I hope she didn't see me, because if she did , she would most definitely pick up her pace. I pick up the pace even more, and push harder and harder gears. no relenting. I see her on the final climb and I am cruising as fast as possible and it appears I am still gaining some time on her.

At the top, I am toild I am 45 seconds behind. Damn! I know that will be impossible for me to make up on the descent, but i'd like to hold that gap in place. Besides, it's mountain biking, and anything can happen. So i ride clean, and not knowing where the course goes at the end causes me to slow a bit in a few places. So I lose another minute on Kerry on the descent. Which I was kind of expecting since I was basically trying to stay on the bike... too many crashes this year... I was only a couple of minutes behind Kerry, but we finished a good 10 minutes in front of the rest of the field. View results. When I saw Kerry after the race, I asked her if she saw me. She did, and she did put the pedal down... It was fun to do this race, part of the culmination of my final training block before Nationals...

It was overall a great day, and a lot of fun. I highly recommend Keystone for free riding! The singeltrack is awesome!

So this was the last race until the Nationals begin again. (Of course, besides short tracks). I feel ready to get back out there. This is the final stretch- Idaho, Aspen and Durango... then National Championships. The year is simply slipping away!

namaste

tonya

14.jul.04

Tour ramping up

the really exciting days of the Tour are going to be Friday and Staurday... mountain top finishes- where all the climbers will undoubtedly put the hurt on the peloton and each other. Too bad the OLN web site no longer has live audio. i'm unsure as to where it went- but it's gone, which means i am left with live updates, reading the action online. which is so primitive in this day and age- it hurts. however, i am hoping to hook up with the best teammate in the world- Mara- in order to watch a couple of the mtn stages. Despite having to get up early to get the 7am coverage, we're excited to have a chance to watch one of the decisive stages of the Tour, live. Unfortunately, we'll be in Keystone on Saturday and will miss what will probably be the best stage of this year's Tour... but that's ok. Being in the mountains v. sitting in front of the tube???? TV can be recorded...

ugh. no, double ugh. no! triple ugh! Wednesday's Boulder Short Track

my plague of bad luck continues... once again, within the first two mintues of the local short track race, my chain fell of (it tends to happen when i am in my hardest gear and i bounce too hard with my rear suspension locked out). So my chain fell off, and this was after i nearly killed myself launching off a jump, taking the shorter line right at the start (i was going quite a bit faster than i normally take the jump, and was caught by surprise when i was a over 2 feet up in the air). Anyhow, coming around a corner i took a bad line and when my back wheel slammed to the trail, my chain popped off, and as i tried to get it back on... well, i had to get off to replace it. let's just say, if something like this happens to you in the first lap of a short track like this, you're in for it. So i'm on my bike again, and i am in the back again. shit. what is up with this?

so now i have to work extra hard to get back up to the front of the race. After having so many crashes and other problems racing, i have to be conservative in the local races. no risky passing- only safe and sure passing. in these races, it's not worth it to be pushy and unsportschicklike. (one rider out there was so agrro, she was cursing at one of the younger up and comers while trying to pass. pretty sad. then she dangerously passed Hana and crashed out. c'mon people- it's Wednesday night. gimme a break!) Anyhow, i found the wheel of Julie Emmerman, who usually comes on very strong as the race goes on, and I stayed on, swapping with Abi- who was riding great, jumping huge on the jump i botched- before i finally got around both. at that point, i could tell Julie was caught behind some of the C men, and I could see Kerry and Dellys in front of me. but it was really too late. once again, i needed one or two more laps to catch up, and i wasn't going to get them, so i had to settle for 3rd last night.

namaste

tonya

9.jul.04

Bus Stop again, start again

Tuesday's Bus Stop ride was great... I tried to keep my eye on the super strong Lara Kroepsch (T-mobile)- the only other woman on the ride. And stayed on longer than ever this week, rejoined for the Hygeine climb, and managed to hold a great position up the hill (a very short but very steep hill- a race all its own). But i was instructed to hang in the pack- no pulling at the front- and that made a difference when it came down to the surges. I'm such a mountain biker- like to be out front as much as possible. So it's hard for me to hang back and not be a part of the action up front. It's tough being in the back. It's the whole accordian effect: the people in front slow, then everyone brakes, then it caterpilars down the peloton, and you slow down, then your accelerating again. It's like pumping an organ, you release- then push- release- push. it's actually tiring, but not as hard as being up front at sub maximal heart rates with no rest. So the ride went well and it was rgeat fun riding with all the guys (and Lara) and me in my mountain bike shoes....

Family Learning Center

I spent most of yesterday at the FLC in Boulder. They have a cycling program for the underprivileged kids of Boulder. I had a great time riding with the kids- and they just love riding the bikes. There are only 13 bikes, and 20+ kids, so they have to ride in 2 groups. Next door to the Center is a small park, and the first group rode wheelies ("whoa! she can ride a wheelie!!") and other urban style riding... including the bunny hop, which really blew them all away when the "girl" was pulling off the big air hops. Riding bikes with kids is so much fun- all the seriousness melts away and all you're left with is pure clean fun- the essence of play. And who doesn't need to play? I shared some PowerBites with the kids and then went on my way to the Boulder Short track races... I am hoping to return to ride with the kids. Most fun you can have on a bike. period. if i had money- i'd buy 20 more bikes for the program, and all the equipment they needed. it's be worth it just to see all the kids riding at the same time...

Short Track

Maybe this is number 3 for me. Crashes come in 3s right? Yes, i crashed, near the beginninng of the race, it was really just a slip out of the rear tire, and i went down, and as i jumped back on- whiiirrrrr- my chain fell off and i was spinning air. But it was too near the start of the race, and the entire field got around me. i was flailing around like a tree in the wind trying to get my chain on and get back in the race. once i did and i started pedaling- that horrible feeling hit me. i am in the back of the race, and i have all these girls i have to pass. a daunting task when the wind blows. and it was blowing. and hard.

being at the back of a short track race is much like making your way to the front of the grocery store and seeing all the lines filled- you have to make a decision- which line is fastest, and how long do you want to wait? or do you go ahead and go for the self-check out?

the first group, i waited until a flat section to pass. and every subsequent group, i usually waited a little too long, and not wanting to take chances or put any other riders in danger, i waited. i could hear Dave announcing... Hana, my teammate was in the lead, pushing the pace hard, making it very hard for me to catch up. As the course twisted around, i was surveying the situation. I had finally caught up to Hana and Abi (Abigail Hippely). But Abi had just overtaken Hana, and the only missing rider was Julie Emmerman. I passed Hana and set my sites on Abi, who had just made contact with Julie. I had, at this point, been over exerting myself, and was beginning to pay the price. In short track, a 20 minute race, every second counts, and losing places makes a huge difference due to the array of bike handling ability in the group. You take a corner two seconds slower, and there's 20 corners. So I was catching Abi and made a pass. It was easy to pass her, and i found out why after the race- Singlespeed. She was out of gears, i'm sure! So now Julie knew i was on her tail, she made a pass around one of the C men, and i was unable to make a safe pass. "One lap to go! One lap to go!" They're yelling to me. Oh No!!!! i need one more lap! i need one more lap! As we twisted and turned, i asked to pass, and the C man subsequently crashed in front of me. Dang! I hesitated to make sure he stood up after i passed. what a bummer. and then i had to go get Julie, and pass another C. On the next major turn, as i was just about to make contact- bam! another man down in front of me. i had to unclip and maneuver around, Julie is gone. i think i can catch her with my technical skills, but i only get closer and yes! another man down in front. I have to unclip and back up and get back on as Abi is gaining on me by now. I am so close to Julie who had to jump off and fix her chain, but not close enough. as i hit the flats, it's too late, just a few seconds behind Julie, i cross the line. I felt so defeated, but i held my cool at all the guys crashing in front of me- probably because i had just done the same thing. It's a local race- no point in getting mad at people here. I was actually more worried if they were ok than how they affected my race.

namaste

tonya

5.jul.04

what happened in Vermont : crash tales

ok- i am finally getting down to filling you all in on what actually happened to me in Vermont...

it's race day and i realize that i have once again missed the managers'/riders' meeting. this has been happening every time Troy is not at the races. He usually attends for me and fills me in on what I need to know, so i don't have to sit through all the bickering and comlaining of the team managers. So I am out of the habit of going. And when i registered, i did not get a schedule, so really, i didn't have any reminders. In 2003, Mara, our junior X star of last year, did all the managers' meetings that Troy couldn't attend. it was wonderful!

So it's race morning and I am going down to check out start times etc... and I read 12:45am for Pro Women. I get back to the room and am talking to Kristi, and she says" twelve forty-five?" um i think so- so i have to go back, because this is an hour earlier than on the schedule. I go back down to be sure. yep 12:45 i better get my ass in gear. I am rushing around to get ready and warmed up. My bike needs work and I need to make sure I am getting in a proper warm up and eating enough food.

At last I am in the staging area. Totally not ready for the race and totally nervous. I stand away from the crowd of Pro women- wishing to be alone and quiet amidst the chaos. Just trying to get in the zone. I'm having a hard time without my pep talker around (yeah that's Troy). Focus- i think. So I line up between Shonny and i can't remember who. I know that neither of these girls is the best at starts, so I try to get my wheel in between them so i can sneak by in the sprint.

We have to listen to Shania Twain again- at every start i swear. we're sick of it by now. and we're off! Shonny is having trouble getting clipped in, and I am suddenly being passed by a lot of girls. Not good. But as we start the high lactate climb, I am right with the leaders. Willow pulls away from everyone, and everyone seems to let her go. I am confused, as i see Chrissy Redden pull herself up to Willow. I am sitting on Katerina's wheel, and we are currently in 3rd and 4th. Then an insurgence pulls by us, causing us to lose a few spots. Right before the singletrack, Jen Smith pulls in front of me. She has trouble in a few sections and has to get off forcing me off, and Shony, behind me, gets around us. By the time we're out of the woods, we're still top 10, but once the climbing begins, the places change up quickly. I fall behind fast, but try to hang on to any kind of strength I have. I am forced off my bike once again by someone who can't ride the technical climbs. ugh. can't get into a rhythm. it's making me crazy. I hit the downhill with a fervor and pass and am just so smooth and fast. I feel good and confident in the woods, and i am riding so cleanly- so much better than in Snowshoe.

Lap 2. trying to stay smooth and get ready to rev it up. I am climbing ok. and descending really well. As the second climb starts, I am doing really well and i am beginning to see and pass riders inf ront of me. As i hit the downhill, i am raging. not getting off at all... i just pick beautiful lines and plow through the mud and ride so smooth it's great. I hear another guy behind me. it's Roland. I grab his wheel in the woods and stay on until we hit the grass where you have to pedal. i am so charged by Roland, that i try to keep up that pace- and in the grass- the next thing i know- i am trying to stand up. the token birds flying around my head in circles. I feel my arms, my legs, my head. Are all of my limbs attached? i ask myself. A course marshall runs towards me. "are you ok?". i muster a confused response:"i don't know." I asses that I am in tact- no missing limbs, but my skull feels like it's been peeled open. And i know instantly that i have a concussion. not my first one either. I am feeling ar