12.apr.04

spontaneous

Dialing. making sure the Boulder-Roubaix organisers will allow me to race in the Pro class. You see- the ACA, American Cycling Assoc, a splinter organisation- runs all the Colorado area road races. Licenses issued by USA Cycling (the governing body for all cycling that matters in the USA) are not recognized by ACA. This means, you have to hold 2 licenses, or as i was hoping, buy a one-day license in order to compete. Of course, an upgrade protocol exists within ACA- and since i have never done an ACA road race- i definitely have not qualified to race as a Pro- even though i do hold a Pro USAC license. So as a victim of the ACA policies, I am penalized if i want to race road in Colorado. So i am calling to ensure i can race in the Pro class if i show up. This will be my first road race in a few years, and i am actually looking forward to it. My teammate Sandi and her husband are coming out to race as well, and will spend the weekend with Troy and i.

an answering machine picks up my call. "the Boulder roubaix has been postponed until May..." wonderful. the entire weekend, and my long week of physical and mental preparation and eating for a race have just been blown out the window- as if at 35,000 feet, the airplane door has blown off and everything in front of me flies away. I frantically search the internet for a race... i must race this weekend. i am SO ready to race... i must race... but no- the Boulder Roubaix has been postponed and there will be no racing for me this weekend.

plans thwarted, Troy proposes we go to Montana- his grandma has just returned from the east coast and he wants to surprise her. he calls his aunt who is staying with her in Billings, and we leave at 4:30- after i- apparently in no kind of rush in Troy's eyes- ride my bike and recover and pack. the drive is only about 8 hours. perfectly doable in one sitting. we go. i am still upset over the race cancellation. how can they cancel a perfectly great race in perfectly horrible conditions? what a great test of strength and tenacity. i was so mentally ready. but Troy's grandma doesn't know we're coming... he has planned the trip oly with the aunts, and plans to surprise his grandma.

the upshot is i get to ride my mountain bike in Monatana. the Rims have great trails, very short, but as technical as you want... drops from 1 inch to 10 feet, of course even more if you wanted to drop the whole rims. cauldrons to swoop in and out of, fast turns with natural berms. tricky tech climbing and whoopie fun descending. it is a superb mountain bike playground.and of course Spokes gets to go "home". She was born is Billings, and she loves to go to Montana and walk on the Rims in Billings...

So We arrive in Billings around midnight. Troy's aunt is waiting up for us and lets us in. She tells his grandma that she has compan and that Troy is here.... of course she doesn't believe it...

Saturday morning, or afternoon, rather, i am getting ready to ride. My road bike is all set to go, and i head out. I am on highway 3, which has an 8 foot shoulder for the entire length that i have ever ridden on this road... and it is nice... passed by cars with mountain bikes riding on the back... hmmm. what am i doing? this is boring! i am going to go back and get on my mtb... so i turn around after 30 minutes and pick up my mtb and pedal back up Zimmerman Trail again so i can ride the Rims.

There are only a few riders out this Saturday. So the trails are wide open so i open it up and feel my mountain bike flowing under me. this is living. i ride up the stair formations that used to give me trouble, i drop some new drops.

you see - this is where i had my first concussion... riding here on the Rims with no helmet on my first real mountain bike... it is with pleasure that i ride these trails, and ride so much that used to scare me. or used to be difficult for me. That crash was 10 years ago- more than that now- and nearly every year, i come back to these trails, usually with Troy, and ride the same stuff over and over. And every year, i am able to ride more and more of it. what a great day, but now i have to go home. we're having dinner at Mackenzie River Pizza Co.

Dinner goes well- Mackenzie's is great for pizza and beer- their Cowboy Nachos rock- and their salads are also very good- i recommend the Thai Chicken salad. We visit with cousins and nephews. I have been enlisted to draw horses, over and over to appease one of the nephews... he wants a cowboy now, standing next to the horse, and a saddle on the horse now. my drawing skills are a little rusty, and with no eraser... my horse looks kind of funny. but it doesn't matter to the little one- he is enamored with the horse, the cowboy and the saddle... all horse people are alike. it;s something hard to explain... but i appreciate the little one's passion for horses. it is something embedded in one's soul- the love of horses.

Sunday, Easter, actually. i am supposed to get up and ride early so i can make the brunch. But getting up in order to ride at 7am is a stretch for me. I usually ride around 12 noon, so 7 am is out of the ordinary. i leave after 9, and realize that my 4 hour ride is going to make me miss brunch, at least part of it. it's hard, juggling obligations and picking your priorities. i want to be at brunch with the fam, but i have to ride my bike. So i ride. All 70 miles on the beautiful highway 3 with the 8 foot shoulder. this ride was pretty uneventful, except the wind was a little harsh on the way back. and i was starcing when i returned to the aunt's house. Unfortunately, the cousins and kids were gone. Troy wore them out, and i had lots of fruit and muffins to eat. it's great doing a 4 hour ride- you can eat anything when you get back.

The i showered in the Aveda-home-spa and we packed up and drove out... what a weekend. our return drive saw us in snow and icy roads. We almost lost it once, but Troy is a great driver, and we managed to stick to the road in spite of the icy bridges. i slept the way home... exhausted from my riding and lack of sleep over the weekend.

namaste

tonya

8.apr.04

Avon breast cancer walk

My sister in law will be walking in the Boston Avon walk for breast cancer. if you would like to make a contribution... follow this link.

7.apr.04

Doing Boulder

This week, Troy's 2 days off fell on monday and tuesday. so we decided - since my ride-load was fairly light- to do boulder. we usually never go to boulder... the traffic, the 10 minute drive, the cost of going out. We were to meet with my coach, Daryl on Monday-in Boulder. He hadn't seen me since January, when he left for Aspen for the winter. It was exciting, because i have lost quite a bit of weight since then, and i wanted to hear what my coach would have to say, and i just wanted to see him in the flesh. We ran some errands, and dropped by Body Balance to see CoachD. It was great seeing my coach. It's hard to explain- we've had such an intimate relationship over the internet and the phone for the past few months, and to get some face time really made me happy. I don't like to talk on the phone, i prefer to see people and communicate in person... so much is lost talking on the phone and through email.

So Troy and i got to do boulder. We hiked Pearl Street, noted how many shops had gone out of business since our last foray into the open air mall. We went to Vecchio's- the highest end road bike shop you will ever see- and trotted through a few of the "world art" stores that sell incense- some for double what others do- and shoes made in china and Buddha and Vishnu statues and so on. We had a burrito at Illegal Pete's.

More of the same on Tuesday- this time we were meeting CoachD for a Guinness. You see, there is beer, and then there is Guinness. If i drink beer, it will be a Guinness- or i don't drink. It's high quality and real flavor (forget what you hear on tv about light beer having flavor). Troy has come pretty close to my view of Guinness (like a good Delt, he had to be weaned from the Nat Light), and CoachD is also on the same page with Guinness. So we went to the irish pub on 13th (if you go, try the steak salad! it's so good, it's like appetizer, entree and dessert in one!) .

Despite mounting pressure from my coach, i did not drink a Guinness. I'm just not that into drinking right now. Of course i did have a few sips from troy's glass, and that was all i needed! I have separated myself so far from alcohol, that i don't even drink in the off season anymore. I just don't need it to have a good time- and that doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else- it's just my decision. I guess the question is: can i be a real mountain biker and not drink beer? Some i am sure would say no, but after having been a mountain biker for 9 years or so... i feel entiteled to say yes. which brings us to the definition of a mountain biker... and today, i don't think i am going there.

We had a great dinner at the pub, and we were able to talk about the good old days of mountain biking in Cincinnati, since D is also from the area. It's like having a reunion with someone you don't know, but you know all the same people and events... And of course Troy got to tell all my secrets to the coach- despite my sushing- getting me into all sorts of trouble!!!

so- i am glad to say my coach is back in Boulder, and that Troy and i had a good time frolicking in boulder this week, and all is good here, as long as it doesn't snow for the Boulder Roubaix road race here this weekend!

you may have read about Mara's acceptance into Dartmouth. When i was applying for college, i too was accepted into Dartmouth (i was the first person from my high school to be accepted into an Ivy)- and i was planning on studying International business. i was unable to attend mainly due to financial reasons... Of course, i have no regrets... but once in a while i wonder where i would be today (i would not be sitting here in yoga pants and a t shirt writing this online journal!). So now i will have one more excuse to go to New Hampshire... and to Mara: way to go, girl!!!!!

namaste

tonya

1.april.04

no fooling

well it took me a while to get the trick as i was reading Cyclingnews.com last night. Since they are int he land down under, their posts are a day ahead. i was reading about Chris Horner, and i was freaking out because i thought the Sea Otter was in 2 weeks. Then i looked at the other stories. How ridiculous, what is going on? then the light bulb comes on- oh! April Fool!! But here, we're a little slow on the holidays, so we missed April Fool. No matter.

Hey maybe the week's forecast was an April Fool trick... because now the snow has disappeared from the mix, and warmer temps and maybe some rain... but no snow and no 40 degrees. woo. hoo!

Today's ride was great. Nice heat, oh around 80. about 5 degrees shy of perfect, but it'll do.

riding with the young ones

the most fulfilling thing about teaching is when you can see the light come on. Riding with our Anna yesterday, i saw her light come on. We went to the trail where she had crashed and hurt herself last year. She was a little scared, of course. But i knew she could ride this section: it's a crazy rocky downhill with a set of 3 stairs on a corner- about 90% of people walk it. But i knew this 11 year old could do it.

After 2 attempts, she did it, and she rode the whole downhill again. It was so amazing. When she walked back up the hill. She said, "i was scared, but i just kept going and didn't let it stop me". it was such a beautiful thing. She has come a long way in a very short time! We talked about how it's ok to be afriad, but you have to handle your fear.

Tumbleweed Devil

you've heard of a dust devil? today was windy here in Boulder County, land of the pretentious. And i witnessed a strange phenomenon for the first time: a tumbleweed devil. Ok i have been hit by tumbleweeds before while riding my road bike. Not the most fun... but today, i saw a Tumbleweed Devil. The tumbleweeds (3 of them) not only blew across the road, but in a swirl, they came towards me, then swirled in a circle- or spiral and crossed the road. I slowed down to watch as it continued, with the weeds twisting in the air about 5-10 feet off the ground. one of the craziest things i have ever seen!

ah well

namaste

tonya

31.mar.04

movie

if you like Audrey Tautou (Amelie) then you should definitely see "he Loves me he loves me not". I'm not giving anything away- just put it on your Netflix list or go rent it and enjoy! Tautou is definitely one of the best actresses of our time...

crazy mountain weather.

why me? we're not even really in the mountains here in Longmont... but we're at a high enough elevation that we get true mountain weather. Meaning: today's high= 80 degress F. In 2 days, it will be 40 deg F and Snowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have threatened to go back to Arizona if this keeps up. In my mind, once you get a good start on your biker tan, it's a sin to have to wear arm and leg warmers- much less a winter cycling jersey. And a sin i wish not commit.

racing bug

After having finished two major races in two weeks, i have the racing bug. A shame i won't be lining up with the Pros again until May. But i can sit here and get all fired up about it! In the old days, i would start "training" to race about two weeks before my first race. Probably didn't even get a ride in the month previous. Of course, in Cincinnati, it would be muddy. So you'd "train" by riding indoors on a trainer or going to spin class. I would still do really well in my races, usually winning, once i was an expert, so it seemed to work for me. Now, being Pro, i train all winter long. Hours and hours of hard cold miles. It's an exercise in persistence. No racing, just training. It's so hard to stay focused on the real deal which is the race- months away. Because i've never been a real fitness buff. Working out is a nuisance. I like to race. The training, it's something i have to do. Racing is what i love to do. So when i get to start racing in the spring, i flourish- i thrive- i live! If you have never raced a mountain bike- i encourage you... no matter your age (there are men in women in their 70s out there, so i don't want to hear anything about your age- it'a ll inside). Racing is so much fun. It's so hard, but so much fun, and you just might get someting out of it.

namaste

tonya

29.mar.04

Can you believe it? Snow? in March?

Actually snow in March is typical here in Colorado. It's just not necessarily welcome. If you know what i mean.

That was yesterday, and it was ok, cause for the first time in a year or so, i was really sick yesterday. So the snow didn't matter since i wasn't riding my bike.

24.mar.04

We arrived back in CO this morning about 4am- after 4000 miles of driving! Our trailer, borrowed from a friend, and possibly to be our "new" team trailer, blew out a tire last night in Albuquerque- with no spare. echoing our time trial travails in Phoenix.

For some reason, NOVA Desert Classic has it in for me, and apparently some of my teammates as well. Between 4 team mates, we busted 5 tires. Luckily only two of us in the Time Trial. I was able to ride the final 2.5 miles on the rim, still coming in a decent enough time to be fairly safe in the GC (with NO damage to my Mavic Cross MAx). My riding got a little sloppy, i veered off the smooth path, and i nailed a back facing rock so hard i thought my teeth were going to fall out. I stayed on the bike and just hammered, still in my big ring, as hard as i could- the flat was not fixable, so i just rode it out. (Last year, i crashed - on my own- in the stxc and spent 4 hours in the ER getting 12 stitches in my elbow, the beginning of the plague of NOVA)

The Short Track and XC were also plagued, not with flats, but with heat. Both days were record breakers in Phoenix, Sunday reaching 97 degrees, and beating us into submission. The NORBA officials shortened our cross country race (after losing track of time in the short track causing us to ride a couple of extra laps, thank you) making our times sub 1:20. This is pretty short, considering most of our races end around 2 hours. And i am what you would call a late bloomer in cross country racing, typically picking off my final victims in the last lap, as i get into my groove. So as you can imagine, this was a tough race. I placed 14th in both stxc and xc. I struggled to stay alive in the heat, and after each race, i had Paramedics hovering around me like the buzzards circling above us on the hot climb. But all is well now, i averted any needles that may have been pointing in my direction, and simply sat under the tent with my feet in the cooler of ice water and an icy towel on my head for about 1 hour. With Hana across from me asking each random person who came into the tent to pour water on her. A bunch of mountain folk in the desert!

the week before: Texas: The Waco NORBA National was a pleasant surprise. Coming from the east coast originally, i was greeted by sweet, fast twisty singletrack, and happy about that. So happy, i was able to pull off my best National finish yet: 19th, right behind roadie T-Mobile rider Kim Anderson, who was having a tough time in the singletrack. That was the cross country, though, my favorite race.

In the time trial, i felt pretty good and pulled off 21st. still my best finish, but i sat and counted my mistakes until the gun in the short track the next day. it was my first race of the season, so i was trying to keep it all in perspective.

short track. i like short track, but i hate pavement in short track. one reason is we get going too fast. sounds kind of silly coming from a racer, but it's hard to explain. we go from 25 miles an hour or so to 15 and less as we hit the singletrack, and then you pop back on to pavement. Our race started, and within the first 10th of a mile, we hear behind us a sound no cyclist ever wants to hear- skidding, clanking, big crash. i have a great start, when we come back around through the start/finish and we are told to stop. 3 women were badly hurt in a crash, one of them being Jessica Kisiel, our marathoner. She's ok now, and she didn't have to ride in the ambulance. Once the girls were cleared from the road, our race was restarted. obviously it was a lot slower, and i was outsmarted by some girls who wouldn't help me on the windy straightaway. (Incidentally, Jess was unable to finish the Waco stage race, but did finish the NOVA stage race). (to my knowledge the other two girls are also ok now)

In all, we had a great 2 weeks of racing, with our new Junior X phenom Kristi Henne pulling off 2 stage race wins in a row!

for now, it's back to reality... computers, voice mails, bills and yes, taxes!

namaste.

tonya

8.mar.04

Fruita: Land of the Free

wow. what started out as a disappointing day wound up being one of the best days of riding i have ever experienced!

It all started when my pro teammate Sandi and I were arranging to ship her bike to her in Gunnsion. We were trying to get the bike to her before the weekend so she could go riding. "where are you planning on going?" I ask. "Fruita." ok never mind shipping the bike, i'll meet you out there! Before i really knew how long it would take, and before i found people to share the ride and gas money, i was committed. what a great idea! with all the new snow here in Boulder- mountain biking would be out of the question this weekend, unless you wanted to ruin the trails.

I promptly began sending emails to teammates and friends and even some people i hardly know. just trying to get someone on board for the trip. i thought, even though it was a 4+hour drive that it would be an easy sell. Who wouldn't want to ride in the desert on fun techinical terrain? No one in the world would pass up an opportunity to be driven to Fruita for a day of riding. perfect forecast, and the local fruita shop said the trails were in perfect condition and a great ride for race preparation.

how wrong can a person possibly be? i was stonewalled. no one wanted to do the drive to ride in Fruita. no one. i was pleading. 9 hours of driving by myself in one day. i didn't want to do it. my last ditch effort was to get Troy to call in sick. But mr. loyal, he would never call in sick to go on a road trip. i was out of options. this was all me. when Sandi called me Saturday evening to confirm and ask if i was still up for it- i almost said "no". what was i getting my self into this time? thoughts raced- but i concurred, great idea- can't wait to get out there.

The truck is packed- bikes galore and a dog, lots of PowerBars and some food i cooked up for lunch and dinner. I was early to Fruita. Spokes and i loitered around the bike shop Edge Cycles and Jen made me an awesome Latte (coming soon- full service espresso bar in the shop!!). Spokes ran rampant in the shop and just pranced around like she owned the place, stealing butt scrathes from all the employees and customers. It was 11:30 and it was 60 degrees.

This would be the first great day for Fruita- an example of perfect timing in life. I had made the right decision.

Sandi and Ken arrived and we milled around, doling out sponsorship goods and getting her bike ready to rock.

The trailhead was packed. Usually when i see a packed trailhead, i feel frustrated. today, i was so happy to see all the people and bikes. This was a no pressure fun ride, just everyone out getting used to new equipment.

Ken, a singelspeeder, is a fast dude on a singlespeed bike. Definitely shreds on the technical, and i can't say i wasn't imprressed with his climbing ability! With his snowboarding background, no wonder he is so good at descending.

Sandi is an amazingly strong woman, and we stopped along the way to discuss the bike and parts and what she was thinking. Every time we stopped, i just deliberately rested and took in the amazng views. Fruita and the Kokopelli trail area is an amazing sight to see. The views are of a vast canyon in red rocks with snowy ridges behind and the river running green and slow. It was one of those picture perfect days where you just want to sit there and look- not really thinking, but just looking in awe and loving life.

we met many bikers on the trails, mostly large groups sitting taking breaks. Despite the numbers, the trails are big enough for everyone here.

In all the new Scalpels are amazing. They are so light, it just blows my mind.

Time to go home. I knew this would take me a bit longer, because i wanted to conserve gas rather than be in a hurry. it took a long time to get home, with the small remnants of ski traffic and generally busy interstate highway. but in all, even though the hours were long the drive was totally worth it.

namaste

tonya

6.mar.04

more on Southern speaking and wind

For the first time this year , I rode my trainer indoors. It was mostly due to the wind today, with steady winds at 28 mph and gusts up to about 45. Staying on the bike can be difficult, and dangerous at best. After being pummelled by a tumbleweed rolling at terminal velocity, i threw in the towel and went home.

But this was not a sad trainer ride, like the ones where you count every second, and it takes a long time for the seconds to tick by, much less the minutes. It was a Tour 2000 day and I wanted to climb with Lance and Javier Otxoa on the Hautacam. It is also the same tape (tape 2 in the 8 hour coverage) that talks about Pantani, so it is very interesting to see the commentaries about his drug use accusations and what came after. That aside, It was a great indoor ride and i really enjoyed riding in the rain in France with those guys.

i have to expound a bit on the Southern vocabulary. Some of my favorite expressions, and i don't use them much, come from my Dad. I think my 2 favorites are "choke a goat", like that is bad enough to choke a goat and "gag a maggott" like, that smell is bad enough to gag a maggott. It just makes me laugh!

More on performance enhancing drugs in cycling

I thought i would reference a letter from Jimena Florit printed on velonews.com... read the letter. I would like to comend Florit on speaking out, simply because there isn't a lot of speaking out going on among the peloton (group), whether road or mountain. Just another good reason that Florit was named our Flower Power Sportswoman of 2003.

In fact, I was on a ride with a local Cat 3 women's road racer a week ago, and drugs came up. She had the attitude that performance enhancing drugs are accepted by the community at large, and named some names of people who she said she knew used drugs.

I was taken aback by her candor. Just like, yeah, so-and-so, she uses drugs! She asked me if I knew personally of anyone using drugs. "no," I said, "people know where i stand, so they wouldn't dare tell me."

In mountain biking, there is only the urine test, so unfortunately, riders are probably using drugs that won't show up in urine. It really stinks to be skeptical of other riders. I guess i like to be insioucient about the matter. There is nothing i can do to be wholly sure no one out there is using performance enhancing drugs. So i will rely on good faith that the women i am competing against are clean.

Thanks Jimena, for speaking out.

namaste

tonya

4.mar.04

goin to Texas, y'all!

hey y'all! it's Texas NORBA National time! For the first time, I will get a chance to ride a bike in my home state! Hana and I leave next Tuesday, on the long haul- 2 long days of driving will put us in Waco just in time to cheer for our teammate Jessica Kisiel, who is racing the marathon on Thursday- so soon after her solo 24 hour race in Tucson!

Like most places in the US- Texas is becoming just like anywhere else... you have your Gap and your Mall and your Red Lobster and your Cracker Barrell. Cookie-cutter America i like to call it- because no matter where you go in the US, you can find the same restaurants, shops and every other comfort from home.

So what's so great about Texas? Well, for one, it's big, right? and everything in Texas is Big. Then you have Texas history- the Texians and Mexicans at the Alamo- a turning point for Texas to become a part of the USA. And of course you have courteous people. And then you have the language.

Like most countries, we have our own dialects, and the Texas dialect pretty much falls under southern.

My family is from Oklahoma, but I am a Texan. As such, I do have s pecial vocabulary that tends to emerge after having spent time around my parents and grandma. I was reminded of this when i received one of those joke emails from my dad, but i really liked it so i am posting it here:

Only a true Southerner

1. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you "PITCH" one, -- and you "HAVE" the other.

2. Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3. Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4. Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5. All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table. (for you non-south people that means kisses and hugs)

6. All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7. Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8. Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9. Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, and a good ol' boy.

10. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11. A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. (As in I'm fixin' to go.)

12. Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13. Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14. Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15. True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16. True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

17. Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18. When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'..," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19. Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20. A true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple of friends, you could be with 2 or 10. The number doesn't matter.

21. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

The only thing i didn't see here was "reckon" as in "I reckon I better get this journal finished before I leave."

namaste.

tonya

2.mar.04

from there to here

i don't mean from here to there...

i mean from there: 5'2", 150 pounds, falls over at the sight of singletrack. to here: 5'2", sub 120 pounds, squeals at the sight of singletrack professional racer.

There have been a few questions about how i got started in mountain biking, and that is a very long and drawn out story that spans the USA and time. So i will give you a little insight from when i began racing, what seems like aeons ago.

I was thumbing through my very first training journal the other day, and was appalled when i saw my wieght at 145. This was in my second year of racing, and I was racing sport. I had recollections that I weighed that much, but seeing it in writing, it really hit me: i have come a long way. And at that point, I had already been "racing" for a year, and I remember having lost some weight, prior to that- realizing I was 150 pounds. Looking back, this was in 1997. 7 years ago. And it has taken me that long to get where i am today. Seeing pictures of myself in this time frame, it's like looking at a stranger: who is that person?

It has taken me 7 years to get on a good nutritional plan. To get off the french fries and cokes, the pizza and popcorn, the incessant eating out and overeating. Don't get me wrong, i still enjoy those "good" foods from time to time: but they are no longer a part of my daily diet. I still have a vice: coffee. But it's almost as if i hang on to it for dear life- a part of me that i refuse to let go of. I have given it up several times in my life, but it is the one ting that comes back to me on a regular basis. i don't sweat over it much anymore - unless i've had too much- i let myself indulge in the one thing that is bad for me (aren't thay now saying coffee is good for you, though? the study must have been paid for by Starbucks).

I suppose the point is this: i didn't start cycling and immediately adopt a strict diet. it is a diet that has evolved over the past seven years. A visit to my house 7 years ago would have found mostly old carry out and soda in my fridge and chips and Oreos in my pantry. Today you will find an array of soy products and non-fat dairy products and buffalo in my fridge and old fashioned oatmeal and herbal teas in my pantry. And of course, Troy's food, which is separate from mine (he can eat chips and he occassionally sees Little Debbie and so on).

The same goes for the amount of time i spend on my bike. Today, I can be found riding multiple 4+ hour rides on my bike per week. In 1997, I never rode my bike for 4 hours. My normal was about one and a half hours for a long ride, while my usual training rides were over lunch and were around 30 minutes! (Yes, i had a real job once!) i remember, though, how i thought that some of the rides i did had "hills" in them. I read my old journal and i almost laugh at myself. but i quickly remember how it felt- to ride my bike up to the base of theose "hills" and just give in to the pain. every hill was a monumental obstacle to me- a goal that i had achieved that day. baby steps.

My outlook on hills is much different now. I actually enjoy them. Of course, I can ride most hills without having to get off my bike 10 times. So that makes a difference, too. And imagine riding up a hill with a 30 pound weight, and then try it again without the weight. that is a big difference.

The bottom line here is: if you knew me in 1997- you would never have guessed i would become a professional athlete. And if you know me today, you would never have guessed what i used to look like.

The lesson: never let them tell you you can't do it, and especially don't tell yourself you can't do it, whatever it may be. "Embrace your dreams with passion..."

namaste

tonya

29.feb.04

saturday

Leave it to living at altitude! I carefully pick out my lycra and fleece for my ride. It seems pretty warm out and the forecast looks good for today. I set out on my road bike- into the mountains. It's a beautiful day for a ride! It's overcast, but i don my orange lenses- just to give the appearance of a bright day- it seems to work! After about 3 and a half hours into my ride, however, up around 9,000 feet or so, it gets cold. I figure, it'll warm up as I descend. wrong. the overall temperature has dropped, and i am descending the 4,000 feet i have just climbed in sheer freezing cold! My body shivers, as I try to pedal. If you don't pedal, your body freezes up, but if you do pedal, you go faster, which makes you colder. I stop to warm up. It works, but as soon as I go again, i get cold. If you think that being a bike racer is all glamour and glitz, this is an account of reality. My cell phone doesn't work until i get into the plains, at which point i am over my time for the day, so i call Troy to come pick me up. He gets me about 15 minutes ride from home. That puts me 45 minutes over my ride time for the day. Now i can go home and get warm!

sunday

after yesterday, my motivation is low. i wake up and peek out the window- yes, snow. Not only is today going to be another epic day, it's going to be wet. These are the days that make this sport so hard. In the 30s. Snow on the ground. Cold wind. Elevation.

It was hard to get myself out the door today. The mental energy expended was similar to a race. Once on my bike, all was better. The legs turning the pedals over- it calms me.

After two hours, I am reaching Peak to Peak Highway. I think of my friends in Arizona, they're racing right now. The cold wind nails me hard. When you are Climbing, and you are cold, then it's time to turn around. The body can only take so much. I stop, I put on my Patagonia Eclipse jacket- it's a climbing jacket- windproof fleece. I put on my snowboarding gloves and a balaclava. I have fenders on my road bike. Most of my friends wouldn't be caught dead dressing like that on a road bike, "how could you?". But i have one statement to make about that: "you may look good, but i am warm!". It made me think about mountain biking, and women. Even men for that. You can look great, but it really is what's inside that matters. It's not your clothes, or your bike: it's the heart, the soul, the muscles, the mind, the blood running through the veins. appearances can be deceiving.

namaste

tonya

26.feb.04

"I do want to get rich but I never want to do what there is to get rich." - Gertrude Stein

This quote was on today's page of my "Tough Dames" calendar- a fun xmas gift from my Sister-in-law Kristen.

the feeble hope of every pro mountain biker: to make a living by riding your bike. We all want to live like Donald Trump, don't we? (yes- we have been watching "the apprentice"). Most of us would probably settle for owning a house and more than one car- but truth is: we aren't willing to suit up in wool blends and uncomfortable shoes, paint on a mask of makeup and be slave to a Palm pilot, cell phone, MS Outlook, meetings, late nights, skipped meals, missed workouts and a lifetsyle of business travel (how do you keep your shirts ironed-looking after being folded up in a suit bag- wait- what does ironed look like? i forgot). "you're fired."

we prefer lycra blends and cute socks, tough to walk in stiff soled-shoes , sunscreen on our faces, a slave to the heart rate monitor and cyclocomputer, and ultimately the dirt. During racing season, the choice seems right. You're right where you want to be. During the off-season is when it hits you that you don't own a thing, and no shopping with the hoardes of Americans and no spending credit cards to the limit- they were maxxed out on racing expenses over the summer. You go through a certain withdrawal- you wish you could buy gifts for all your loved ones, that new pair of pants, or that new pair of shoes, out to eat with all your friends, to concerts, fundraiser dinners. But you can't. It's part of the choice you made, and you have to live with it. This is the way of the winter- long, hard, cold.

Entr Spring. When the first race is 2 weeks away, you forget about the new hot pants, and the black zipper boots, the dinners, and you focus even harder on your fitness, your nutrition, your overall preparednes for a National race. You see more sunshine, and like the rest of America, Spring Fever takes over. And once again you are happy you made that choice. The choice to ride eat and live in a world driven by two wheels and a strong pair of legs.

There are many paths in life- choices to be made by everyone, we all choose according to our own desires (hopefully), and that is what makes life so wonderful.

namaste

tonya

25.feb.04

It's february, do you know where your Olympic hopefuls are?

Leave it up to the USA- it's february, and instead of focusing on the Olympic race in and of itself- our hopefuls are traveling to Cyprus to earn precious UCI points. (UCI= International Cycling Union and points are awarded in sanctioned races and count toward World ranking, which will determine our 1 and only female Olympic contender. We can only send one because we, as a country of female mountain bikers, are ranked low in the country rankings, due to the fact that our National series that used to be run by USAC, did not offer enough points last year, etc...). Not that traveling to Cyprus is bad, I wold love to go there to see all the ancient historical sites and the beauty of the geography- but 2004 is going to be one of the hardest years for mountain bikers in resent history- with 8 NORBA Series races and one National Championship, World Cups and other major races- not to mention regional and local races. From March to September- there are 15 major mountain bike races in North America. This equates to at the minimum 15,000 miles of travel!

In the past, Paola Pezzo (ITA)- the only Gold medal winner in the Olympics for mountain biking- 2 times in a row- has had custom Olympic course replicas built for her, and she trained and focused for an entire year on one race, and she won it- 2 times in a row. This is a good formula, don't you think?

Most Olympic mountain bike teams have already been determined. But the US, as always is choosing their contender late in the year, based solely on UCI points, the top ranked rider as of july 12, 2004. So instead of focusing on the race- the one race that matters for one unnamed US woman- perhaps in her lifetime- she is focusing on a mad dash for points. It is very sad to me, because these awesome women need to be focusing on training for the races that matter most- Olympics, Worlds- and not spending time, energy and sponsor dollars on this ridiculous points chase. The main contenders are Alison Dunlap, Mary McConelloug, Sue Haywood, Shonny Vanlandingham.

it is well known that the US has used this formula every Olympic year in the past- and has undoubtedly raised many problems in selection. And our Olympic results reflect that... except for Susan DeMattei's Silver in Atlanta, we haven't been able to produce an Olympic Champion. (this is also a problem for the men, but i won't even go into that controversy).

24.feb.04

Ahhh Marco...

I was always a fan of Marco Pantani, "Il Pirata"- the Italian climbing sensation. Marco's career as a cyclist ended- not quite abruptly- but over several years - as a result of allegations of abuse of performance enhancing drugs. Marco, for those of you who do not know- is one of the greatest climbers ever to ride a bike, and he died on 14 february this year, at the age of 34- a tragedy no matter how you look at it.

i do not condone the use of performance enhancing drugs, in fact i disdain it and i myself race drug free: yet i do not know the exact truth of Marco's situation. In the wake of his death, I like to reminisce about the good things... of watching "little Marco" rev up his engines and go. I have always been fond of Marco for a few reasons: 1. his stature. He was a small guy, and that made him all the cooler! Being small myself, i always feel like a mouse in the Pro lineup. All those tall, strong girls looming around me- (i am only 5'2"). And think of Marco- this little guy among so many giants- Lance for one.

#2- he is Italian, and the Italians have a sort of pizazz about them- their dress, their demeanor and in competition. It's a lot of show- but who doesn't like a good show?

#3- the willingness to come back. Marco was crushed by being thrown out of a prestigious race, but he came back to fight, again and again.

Marco struggled with depression, a very serious condition that is common in elite cyclists for some reason. He is the second Pro road racer in a year to die, of causes related to depression- last year Spaniard Jose Maria Jimenez died. cyclingnews.com/obit + daily peloton.com/funeral + cycling and depression

I just want to say "thank you" Marco for the show- i will always have the 2000 Tour de France tapes to watch of you, and to think of all of the great things about you...

namaste

tonya

23.feb.04

riding so yesterday i finally had a chance to ride with my new teammate Hana. What was supposed to be a fairly easy ride deteriorated into a sort of hammer fest. I continually set back- maybe a few inches behind her wheel, but Hana was riding strong. After about an hour, and after our friend Chris peeled of 'cause he'd had enough, we finally slowed to a more endurance pace. Which is where i should have been in the first place. So much for discipline! It's kind of like the Pueblo pre-ride with my teammates Alexandra and Jessica K. I was feeling good, and apparently so was Alexandra, but Jessica was racing solo the next day and was trying to keep it tame. Recipe for a hard ride: get a couple of fast, competitive women together, mix in some bikes and a nice trail or stretch of road and sit back and watch. So much for easy going, caring, not-gonna-drop-you riding with women!

namaste

tonya

Arizona Chronicles Part II: a day in the saddle

11 feb: Plans were: get up around 6:30 or 7a to join in on the big Pro ride in Tucson on Wednesday morning. The whole 'get up' plan flew out the window with the all the other shunned responsibilities of the day, and riding happened at the more normal time of 10:30 or 11a. Who in their right mind rides in the cold (yes, cold in Arizona- it is in the morning!) when you have a perfectly warm day on the way? Not me. and i am so used to getting up, eating, waiting 2 hours and Then riding... i would have had to forego breakfast to make this ride. So instead, I have some coffee, have my breakfast, and then go on a ride.

Alexandra has given me very good directions, but inevitably, as a spastic-hyper-mided individual, i lose my way. I wind up at a bike shop- Free Wheelers, i believe, and they point me in the proper direction. Since i was already in the bike shop, i asked them for help removing the plastic platforms from my pedals- they come with the lower end Shimano pedals, and I put the good pedals on my mountain bike, and the low end ones on my road bike. It took about 10 minutes to do the job. I had to hold my bike like a vise while the mechanic torqued and shredded the platforms. it was insane. How do they expect a normal person to get those things off?

I am riding Gates Pass, a very common road ride in Tucson, as evidenced by the high volume of cyclists I saw riding in the middle of a Wednesday. What an amazing day. Warm. And i am riding among the Saguaro. I love the Saguaro. They are very human to me. They look like people with their arms raised to the sun- worshipping the sun and loving life. These curious inanimate creatures- prickly and so becoming to the eye. Full of life- full of water that is only an inch away, but impossible to get to. What is most inspiring are the forests. A Saguaro forest- with thousands. it is such an amazing site. i hope some day i see the forest in bloom. That is one thing on my list of things to do before i die- to see the desert in full bloom. It must be absolutely stunning.

When I finish Gates, I head back home to pick up Alexandra- she is going to ride a couple of more hours with me. We choose a flat road and are lambasted by winds the whole way. Nonetheless. Arizona. Warm. Bike. What more could you ask for? I htink the route is called the shoot-out. Road riding in Tucson is huge... and I have never been to a more biker-friendly place in my life. Every driver gives you the space, and even courtesies not expected. It is a change from some of the violent and dangerous behavior in Boulder.

I have finished my 4.5 hours of riding, and now it's time to eat. I make a stir-fry. Fairly basic, but it gets the job done. I forget to put soy sauce on the list. Gabriel is obviously not a bit happy with the healthy food situation- a 6 year old would much rather have something a little more, well, cheesy, perhaps? Well, so would I, but that's the breaks! What can you say to a 6 year old who plays chess?

What a day. time to get some rest.

22.feb.04

Arizona Chronicles Part I: Flying to Tucson

Always: travel is epic for me. My life seems to be dramatic. So i could call this "Team Drama Queen". I have been told by one of my ex-teammates that my team is all drama. It is i guess- my life is dramatic. As one 24 hour racer in Tucson told me, i must have a drama cloud following me around. Maybe with all the drama surrounding me i should have been an actress. Hey- i'd be making more money.

As a cyclist- I am always looking for ways to cut or avoid costs. One major cost for traveling by air is the inevitable excess baggage fee for bikes. While USA Cycling provides us with bike vouchers, they only work on United- so getting around the fees can be tough. We found a cheap flight to Tucson on Frontier- which means bike fee. So i tried to get around the fee- and actually, as a Pro member of USAC, and USAC being not-for-profit, i could have had my fee waived, IF i would have had my current USAC license- which I didn't, because they sent me the wrong one. Ironically, when i returned to Colorado, the mail box had 3 licenses in it, and another one arrived before Troy left Colorado. So i had to pay $50- which is actually cheap- to fly with my bike. That episode had me standing at the ticket counter a good 15 minutes while the agents rushed around and looked stuff up on the computer and made phone calls. They were very good natured about it, but i almost died when she said. "we could have, but your license is expired."

Episode #2. when you fly one-way, you are automatically flagged for the special security line. I didn't know this, so i was very excited when i was waved on to the security screening station that had no line. I felt special. The airport was empty so i thought not much of it. It was when i found myself taped in to the area that i figured something was wrong. The security lady, who was like so overly nice, trying to keep everyone in the line calm, explained why i was there, why i had been flagged, and that they had to go through all of my bags and dig through my stuff.

So it must have looked pretty strange when the screeners were pulling out my tupperware full of cottage cheese, cooked chicken, snacks, 4 water bottles and what not. I even had a grapefruit spoon they didn't see. The guy who was rooting through my stuff evidently had a niece or something who was doing the 24 hour race from AZ. So at least he understood a little about all my crazy cargo. I mean who else but a cyclist goes through the trouble to cook and pack food for the airplane?

Episode #3. The loud talker. You know, Seinfeldians, what i am talking about. The LOUD talker. Always behind you on the plane. This loud talker, like most, was really working on getting herself in trouble. Apparently she used to work for Wild Oats and had nothing but bad things to say about them and how they cheated her on her 401k and how she wasn't getting paid enough and so on. But now she works for Sunflower Markets, and she gets to travel around to new stores and she likes it, but apparently still isn't getting paid what she is worth. Even though her job is really kind of an entry level job. The lady next to me looks at me sideways and i her sideways, as if to say, "can you believe our luck?". We concurrently roll out eyes. Then we chit about how we hope no one who matters to her can hear her. You know the rest of that story- when you get off the plane, everything seems a little bit nicer and quieter.

Deplaning. I am staying with my friend Alexandra. I am left alone in her house while she goes to teach a class at University. I relax and take a nap. I am in Arizona and that makes me happy. When Alexandra and her son Gabriel return, we go to dinner at Macaroni grill. I have this incredible salad with spinach and chicken and strawberries. wow! And it's off to bed and i am supposed to go on a big group ride at 7:30am tomorrow. 7:30 is early.

20.feb.04

back in CO

It was only 10 when we walked in the door last night. The drive from Phoenix wasn't too bad, until we passed Pueblo- where rain was falling, and then Colorado Springs and Denver where it was snowing madly. Snow- how disheartening after 85 degress in Arizona. I am happily cycling-tanned and ready to race my mountain bike on actual singeltrack that is dry. I know, that is a lot to ask this time of year, but in Arizona, it is a reality. Only a few more weeks until we return for the NOVA Desert Classic!

I have a ton to talk about after my trip to Arizona. It was a great trip. But for today, I think i'll just talk about the mail we found in our overstuffed box late last night.

USA Cycling has problems (this is the governing body for all cycling disciplines). Sometimes one is infuriated by the nuances of the organization, at other times, one must sit back and laugh. And this is what we did.

Our overstuffed mailbox was mostly stuffed with UCI (international Cycling Union) licenses for me. USAC first sent me a regular NORBA license, and when I called to ask if i was to receive an International license- the answer I nw understand is a resounding "YES!"! The bottom line is i now have 4 licenses. "one for every outfit, " says Troy.

No doubt i won't have any trouble with lost licenses this year!

7.feb.04

i can't seem to pull myself inside to ride on the trainer- so in spite of my previous question to myself- i have been consistently choosing the great cold and wet outdoors over the warm comfort of the indoors.

Thursday's ride tooke me on quite an adventure... all of the main roads in the area were clear, albeit a little wet, and of course covered in gravel. But the dirt roads were solid snow. Not the usual types of snow for this area- which is either dry and fluffy- champagne powder- or wet and heavy like sierra cement. It was powdered sugar. While powdered sugar is fun for baord sports, it's not so fun for the wheeled.

My lovely tires couldn't hold me to the line- it was almost like riding on ice, but it was snow that had been packed down by car and truck tires. this compressed snow wold slide out from under my rear wheel- with no warning. so i had some slow going, and was a little on edge- never knowing when the rear wheel was going to slip up. It was not like riding in mud, when you know your tires are going to slip- it was complete chaos.

This heavy kind of snow made shredding the singeltrack difficult as well. In powder, you can ride your bike like a snowboard, making wuick turns and floating along on top of the snow. In this snow- hanging on for dear life was more the tone. It was very much like riding on ice- even though it was only snow. I even had to walk a section that would have been considered a downhill in dry times- the snow was so heavy- my bike wouldn't roll. It was the strangest thing!

All that being said, i never crashed the whole ride. and maybe i should have just to remember it's not so bad, and to get some good practise in. This was yet another day when there were no other cyclists out punishing themselves. They were all probably sitting on the trainer, dry and warm, watching the 2000 Tour again and listening to their vast collection of CDs. They are the lucky ones!

have a great day

namaste.

tonya

5.feb.04

snow!

to be honest i really do love snow- but somehow, as a cyclist i have learned to dislike it. mountain biking in the snow is fun, but road riding can be difficult- or at least really wet!

so you all can laugh now, because it did snow here in Boulder, and it seems it will snow all week. But not to worry- on Tuesday i am headed off to Tucson for a little warmer riding, and to support our marathoner Jessica Kisiel in her solo attempt at the 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo! I won the solo division in 2002, with 13 women competing.. a rather large field for solo 24 hours (for women). But due to some knee problems i had last year, i will sit this one out. I am looking at Moab for another solo 24 hours... so we'll see. It's hard to go to a race and be a spectator- not my style- but i am very excited to be there and support one of our excellent chicks! If you are there, stop by our tent and say hi!

So snow. It is beautiful when you get the right amount, it covers the brown landscape and makes everything look so fresh. And in the sun it shimmers, like a mine full of gems. But here- the word "snowplow" is not yet in the dictionary. I am not sure why- but for some reason, there is not much plowing that happens here. Which causes masses of accidents and people slipping and falling on the ice. And of course when the sun hits the snow and we have major meltdown- rivers of dirty water- not good for road biking!

So i can sit here and look at the tiny flakes of snow drifting by my window and i can consider- do i ride indoors on the trainer, or do i tough out another hard cold day. the likelihood of me riding inside is failrly slim- but i may wind up on the dirt on my lovely mountain bike instead of the wet and icy road.

another day, another tough decision.

have a wonderful day

namaste

tonya

1.feb.04

the super bowl

while most of you are watching the Super Bowl, i am sitting here working. the game is on in the other room- troy is at his friend's house watching- but i have to keep up with my training log and all that other stuff. not that i wanted to go, actually i turned down the invite because i knew i would need some time this evening.

in celebration of the Super Bowl, i went on a really long ride today. not only long, but lots of climbing. today, like yesterday was another one of those days when the people of Boulder do not wake up and say, "what a lovely day for a bike ride!". With fresh snow, lots of slush, ice and water on the roads, and temps around 20-25, this was not your typical beautiful ride day.

but it was definitely your atypical beautiful ride day.

i had one of the most beautiful rides today! while the roads in town were wet and slushy, the mountain road i chose today was colorado 7, and it was in perfect shape. completely plowed (why colorado has not leanred how to remove snow is beyond me). the road was dry, even. plus i had my favorite support vehicle, Troy and Spokes with the turkey horn!

So i climbed up to Peak to Peak and rode that for while until around 9,000 ft it got too snowy and windy, and the temp was about 15. then Troy picked me up and drove me down to some lower climbs near Boulder.

Again, i thought the only other person on the planet who would enjoy today's ride would be Mara. And i am sure that's true, because in the 3.5 hours of riding i did today, i did not see a single cyclist, and Troy had seen none in all his driving. How crazy is that? is any one else in this town riding outdoors this weekend????

Well i did see an old dude on a mountain bike climbing up Lee Hill, but he wasn't a racer, he was just some old dude out for a ride, and a hardcore one at that.

Anyhow, it was sunny and beautiful today, and if you rode inside- too bad. i had a great ride, and the climbing was so phenomenal!

i have other things to do... so have a great day and namaste

tonya

31.jan.04

a little more snow

it did have to snow on my mountain bike day. Why? The area trails are non-rideable muddy, so i stuck to the Boulder Reservoir, a route i can easily do from my house and even hit some singletrack, which, in most likelihood is also unrideable muddy. But hey- you don't know until you go.

As i super-suited up with my fleece jacket and all the necessary winter gear, i was actually dreading the ride. I knew i was going to be soaked to the bone when i returned home- with a heavy snow falling, and the roads wet...

Cold, wet, messy. Worse than mud is road grime, wet road grime, and i was definitely covered in it by the time i hit the dirt roads. As i pedaled, i was thinking of Mara. Someone who would be the only other person on this planet i know that would actually enjoy this ride.

I complain, but i enjoy- i wouldn't trade it for the world. Anyhow- thinking of Mara made me happy, because i thought about how much fun we would have been having in the cold misery together. I mean, most Boulder people woke up today and did not say, "what a great day for a bike ride!" They more likely woke up and said, "great day for the trainer!".

But also thinking of mara made me sad, because i was alone out there and she was somewhere swimming. if she only knew how much fun i was having without her. how much she loves defrosting after a cold ride. the pain of feet warming up- causing me nausea it hurts so bad. and then taking a hot shower to bring the body back to a normal temperature. and then having a hot drink.